David Holmes is Chief Executive of Family Action.

Follow David on Twitter.

Having a first baby can place huge pressures - both financial and emotional - on couple relationships.

As the Centre for Social Justice noted last month in its report Fractured Families, the additional stress and cost involved at this key transition point can make relationships “very hard to sustain”.

Those pressures are felt most acutely by low-income families and those who may not be able to rely on relatives, friends or other social networks to help ease the burden.

Family Action’s recent report, First Baby in Breadline Britain, found that while mums-to-be generally realised there would be greater demands on the family finances, the price tag attached to many items still comes as a shock.

Polling we commissioned from the Bounty parenting club with Lloyds Banking Group’s Money for Life programme showed that some poorer parents have to cut back on essential needs such as food and heating in order to afford baby-related costs.

But it’s not just poorer families who struggle. Even better off households are taken aback by the cost of childcare: overall a concern for nearly a quarter of mums polled. So many new parents need and want to return to work.

It will be a challenge for the Government to get childcare help within Universal Credit right and to ensure a supply of affordable childcare. If parents who want to work are unable to do so because of the prohibitive costs of nursery or day care places then that is a national problem that needs a national solution.

When it comes to keeping two-parent households together, our report showed that the pressures of having a baby are broader than money worries alone. Although having a baby is a source of so much joy for most, some women struggle emotionally, or mentally, during or after their pregnancy, with a sense of isolation compounding feelings of distress. Some fathers can also be affected by exhaustion and depression. 

Groups of parents that Family Action is working with, in children’s centres and parenting classes across the country were asked about any difficulties following the birth of their baby.

One mother said:

“After my first one I just remember feeling totally different and I couldn’t trust anyone and I couldn’t go out of the house and I was crying. I felt emotionally really vulnerable every day and I felt completely and utterly different every day…  It was like being on a rollercoaster, feeling these emotions.”

Another told us:

“I’ve been suffering postnatal depression since she was about six months old and it’s just been getting worse and worse. My partner is now suffering from depression himself…Me and my partner we’ve been having a lot of arguments recently, with my postnatal depression and his depression.”

We know that around one in six pregnant mothers are affected by mental distress, and failure to deal with these issues can affect the relationship between mother and child and impact on a child’s long-term development. That’s why the mothers we spoke to for our report expressed appreciation for the support services offered by Family Action and a range of other voluntary organisations, to fill the gap left by mainstream services. Such services include Family Action's Perinatal Support Project - aimed at giving new mothers befriending and practical support to combat depression before and after the birth.

The report speaks powerfully to policy makers about the need for a full range of support services, from both statutory and voluntary sectors, to help expectant and new mothers, and their partners, find their feet in the crucial first months. Children’s Centres have a vital role to play in an integrated offer that could include childcare relationship support, support with depression, and parenting programmes. MPs like Andrea Leadsom are right to campaign for childbirth registration in children’s centres as this could help to engage the full range of parents who should be accessing services.

Unfortunately, the spread of support services to new parents is patchy across the country, and too often dependent on insecure and short-term funding arrangements. In particular perinatal mental health provision is at the mercy of silos in health and children’s services and lack of clarity in the NHS transition arrangements for under-five commissioning.

Those who share the Centre for Social Justice’s view that family breakdown is “an urgent public health issue” will want to work together to ensure that appropriate support and services are in place and that children can be given the best possible start in life.

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